Ray Hudson: Announcing Genius

I have several guilty pleasures. One dealing with spandex, baby oil, a four-squared circle, and lots of muscles (I'll let your imagination fly...).

One, of course, is soccer. Another, which occurs in watching soccer and the first guilty pleasure, is sports announcing. There is a certain announcer who always speaks during the La Liga games; especially Real Madrid and Barcelona. His name is Ray Hudson.

Maybe it is because he is Irish; maybe he has a LOT of time on his hands to come up with certain sayings. But whenever he opens his mouth, he is always very imaginative.

Here are a few saying from Ray, during two Barcelona games (my fav's are bold):

Dracula going after a plate of liver (someone attacking the ball)

He could follow you into a revolving door, and still come out first (of Messi, running quickly)

bamboozled

superlative (shortened version: super)

gargantuan

rollie-polly

hodgy-podgy

poppy-cock

He gets up on his galloping horse and cuts you apart

intestinal fortitude

Turns the clock back like Superman

Lady luck twinkling in their Spanish Eyes

Portuguese Peach (reference to Ronaldo)

Captain gets caught with his knickers down a bit (captain of the team makes a mistake)

Committing hairy-kairy

Spitting verbals like Mussolini in the balcony

spank

Synchronized and super slick

Fabulous fly's eyes vision

His little lollipop

Ticky-tack-ah

Tombstones in their eyes

Send one to the hospital, send others to the morgue

Lumps the size of broccoli on the backs of his calve (ref. to amount of tackles Messi receives)

Put on a torture rack and he will smile at you (ref. to after Messi is tackled, he gets right back up)

Cerebral dictator

Virtuoso football

In absolute 7th heaven

contentious

audacious

Keep possession time on a sundial (ref. to Barcelona's play tactic of holding the ball)

When they touch the ball, its like a thousand of tiny knats swarming (R.Madrid incapability of keeping the ball against Barcelona)

Meliange of Magic

As nasty as a rat bite (a rough tackle)

You can only imagine a list Ray goes through, each game! I will update whenever I can of the amazing adjectives he uses during the La Liga games I watch. You never know, one day you may use one!